When we don’t like the idea of changing oneself, and we feel uncomfortable about that, it might be that we are stuck into the fixed-identity mindset.
Who are you, though? Identity is what produces behaviors, beliefs, actions. If it were anyone who could change them, guess what, that one is you. If you were taught to identify yourself as what your thoughts and actions, things would get harder. You’ll somehow feel that by changing yourself you are spoiling your authenticity, because the future change and those parts which want that change are viewed as external – non-identity.
But that’s madness! Is there anything that doesn’t belong to us, when it comes the time to decide? Anything you think that can’t be influenced by yourself truly? Any poor owned decision is still a hundred times better than a good outsourced decision.
We need them: difficult questions that remain unanswered; long-term goals where you don’t feel like progress is being made.
When the next defeat knocks at the door, I wish you’ll figure out whether it is a failure of your judgement or the failure of not persisting long enough.